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Out of Box Experience - Lenovo ThinkPad T400

I have been promising to create a series of instructional videos regarding SQL, Crystal Reports, and Made2Manage for some time. I asked the SQL Community for suggestions for an excellent Laptop Configuration to record these videos.

I went with the IBM Lenovo Thinkpad T400 with several upgrades including more RAM, faster processor, and a SSD […]

Steal This Blog

I originally wrote this article some time ago, and then shelved it because I found that Jason Massie had already used the title, though his message was entirely different from mine. Since this is an article about plagiarism, I thought it ironic to plagiarize his title. However, with the recent uproar about plagiarism on SQL […]

Careers and Cheap Furniture - Some Assembly Required

I read a lot of great material from numerous technical blogs every single week. Sometimes I am stirred enough to comment on them, but only rarely am I inspired to blog about something I read on another blog. Steve Jones’ recent editorial is one of those. To summarize:

I think it’s important for management to provide […]

Under the Bus

Recently we had an M2M outage at work, which caused annoyance and downtime for many of my users. It took the better part of a day to investigate and solve. As you can imagine it was a stressful time, executives were angry, etc; which was particularly difficult for me because I am a perfectionist when […]

Can You Farm?

”As a comedian, I always get into situations where I’m auditioning for movies and sitcoms, you know? As a comedian, they want you to do other things besides comedy. They say “alright you’re a comedian, can you write? Write us a script. Act in this sitcom.” They want me to do shit that’s related to […]

Not Quite 2000 Words

I owe a lot to Mr. Frank Girard. This blog is a product of his work as well as mine. Mr. Girard taught me how to write in high school, but I wasn’t a big fan of his at the time.

I remember getting detention for “cross pollination.” Mr. […]

Amazed by the Wrong Things

I love this chart, which I borrowed (stole) from Coding Horror. A major project that I completed recently reminded me of it. I created a sales order auditing system that included scheduled SQL jobs, multiple triggers, VBA for M2M, and Crystal Reports. The project took me a long time to complete and […]

Pop Quiz

Dennis Hopper – Speed

You get a frantic phone call at 3am on a Sunday. It’s your boss, and there’s been a fire. The server room, and perhaps the whole building, is still smoldering. He asks you the following questions:

Is our data safe?
Is it off site? Is it secure […]

Running Twice as Fast

This past Saturday I attended the first of four days of SQL Server Development Training. The instructor, Mike Hotek literally wrote the book on SQL 2008 Database Development. A fellow M2M Administrator asked me why I bothered because we are not yet on SQL 2008 and I thought it would make a good blog post. […]

Lamest Computer Related Scenes Ever Filmed

The other night I was working on the blog and my girlfriend was watching TV, specifically NCIS. One of the characters, who happens to be a ridiculously attractive medical examiner assistant, is looking up data on her computer. Anyway, her computer “gets hacked” by a super hacker and the screen goes nuts. […]

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