We are Men of Action, Meetings do not Become Us.

The Princess Bride

The other day I found myself in a meeting regarding a CRM package we are implementing. The implementation company had brought two project managers, a sales lady, and a geek who will actually assist in the implementation. I sat in on this meeting with some of our executives and sales people. […]

I am a PC… For Now.

Listen folks, I have been a computer geek a long time. I started with the early versions of DOS and have been using Microsoft operating systems for nearly 20 years. I used to know how to configure extended memory, expanded memory, etc in order to get various PC games to work in less than 1mb […]

Out of Box Experience - Lenovo ThinkPad T400

I have been promising to create a series of instructional videos regarding SQL, Crystal Reports, and Made2Manage for some time. I asked the SQL Community for suggestions for an excellent Laptop Configuration to record these videos.

I went with the IBM Lenovo Thinkpad T400 with several upgrades including more RAM, faster processor, and a SSD […]

Steal This Blog

I originally wrote this article some time ago, and then shelved it because I found that Jason Massie had already used the title, though his message was entirely different from mine. Since this is an article about plagiarism, I thought it ironic to plagiarize his title. However, with the recent uproar about plagiarism on SQL […]

Careers and Cheap Furniture - Some Assembly Required

I read a lot of great material from numerous technical blogs every single week. Sometimes I am stirred enough to comment on them, but only rarely am I inspired to blog about something I read on another blog. Steve Jones’ recent editorial is one of those. To summarize:

I think it’s important for management to provide […]

Under the Bus

Recently we had an M2M outage at work, which caused annoyance and downtime for many of my users. It took the better part of a day to investigate and solve. As you can imagine it was a stressful time, executives were angry, etc; which was particularly difficult for me because I am a perfectionist when […]

Can You Farm?

”As a comedian, I always get into situations where I’m auditioning for movies and sitcoms, you know? As a comedian, they want you to do other things besides comedy. They say “alright you’re a comedian, can you write? Write us a script. Act in this sitcom.” They want me to do shit that’s related to […]

Not Quite 2000 Words

I owe a lot to Mr. Frank Girard. This blog is a product of his work as well as mine. Mr. Girard taught me how to write in high school, but I wasn’t a big fan of his at the time.

I remember getting detention for “cross pollination.” Mr. […]

Amazed by the Wrong Things

I love this chart, which I borrowed (stole) from Coding Horror. A major project that I completed recently reminded me of it. I created a sales order auditing system that included scheduled SQL jobs, multiple triggers, VBA for M2M, and Crystal Reports. The project took me a long time to complete and […]

Pop Quiz

Dennis Hopper – Speed

You get a frantic phone call at 3am on a Sunday. It’s your boss, and there’s been a fire. The server room, and perhaps the whole building, is still smoldering. He asks you the following questions:

Is our data safe?
Is it off site? Is it […]