Some Quick Topics

Here are some things I thought were interesting this week:

A Few Good DBA’s This is a humorous take on Jack Nicholson’s rant in “A Few Good Men.” I’ll include an excerpt below as the site requires free registration to view the article and I know many of you won’t bother.

Manager: I want the truth!

DBA: You can’t handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has SQL Servers. And those SQL Servers have to be guarded by SQL DBA’s. Who’s gonna do it? You? You? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom.

You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know:

And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, it protects SQL Servers…You don’t want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me protecting that SQL Server. You need me on that SQL Server.

We use words like honor, T-Sql code and loyalty…we use these words as the backbone to a life spent defending something. You use ’em as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very protection I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it!

I’d rather you just said thank you and went on your way.

Otherwise, I suggest you pick up an understanding of SQL Server and start writing some code. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you’re entitled to!

Second, I came across this Microsoft Site with free SQL videos. They about using SQL Server Express 2005, but that hardly makes a difference. There’s a ton of good, basic SQL information to be had.

Finally, I received a call from a user last week stating that they could not run the Invoiced Sales Report that I mentioned in my last post. The user received the following error:

Date Outside Error

This of course relates to my previous post about the improper use of error messages. For the most part, users don’t read them, and they serve to do nothing more than impede productivity. This one is no different.

I told the user that he should simply hit OK, and run the report again. The second time, the report ran without incident. Now I can understand why the error is triggered, which is most likely to conserve resources and prevent the user from starting an extremely long, unstoppable, and useless report if the wrong dates are accidentally keyed in. However, shouldn’t the error say something like “Are you Sure?” and then run the report if the user answers yes?

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